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All of my life I have struggled with depression and self-esteem issues. I was not one of the "popular" girls in school, and until I realized that my worth was not based on that, I lived in misery. I gave my life to Christ in high school and was prescribed medication that has helped ten or so years ago, but I still had the fear that I would never measure up to those with prettier faces or talents I didn't have. I majored in Contemporary Christian Music in college as a vocalist and constantly encountered other students who I believed were better singers and more blessed. Of course, they were the "popular" students there too, and at the college I attended, it often felt like it was required that you find your husband or wife there and be married either during college or right after. I had felt that God had abandoned me and that I had nothing to share. By the grace of God and a few of the people He placed in my life, eventually I started singing again at church, and over the last few years, I have finally begun believing that external beauty is not what gives me my worth.
I volunteer now with my church's high school youth group and because of my struggles, my heart lies with young women who also put their worth in having the latest styles and conforming to what is popular. Jonny Diaz's song "More Beautiful You" expresses wonderfully that we are all beautiful in the eyes of the One who created us. It has helped me with having the courage to reach out to the young women in my church and share with them my own story. I pray that women young and old who are struggling with society's pressure to be the model in the magazine or the actress in the movie realize that "they were created with such care... and are perfect just the way they are."