I'm Ready to Fly
I just wanted to share a little "God Moment" with you. Back in December, my dad got suddenly sick. What started as a small illness spiraled out of control, and we spent the next three weeks in the ICU with him. We had some good days in that time, but many were spent watching him suffer. During those three weeks, we had so many moments where we could feel God was reaching out to us. In those moments, I was frustrated, although I knew God was with us. It was so hard to see Dad getting worse when all we were praying for was for him to get better. Looking back, I can see all the things that God was doing in order for us to get though this terrible time. But, at the time, it seemed as though He wasn't listening; He wasn't doing what I wanted! However, very late one night, I was met in the hallway by my dad's old family practice doctor who heard that Dad was sick and came to see him every day, twice a day. When I looked at him, I knew that things were bad; I knew that Dad was getting sicker by the moment. We sat together in a small room while he gently explained to me what was happening. I knew when I looked into his eyes that we were nearing the end of our journey. He suggested getting the family together for a meeting to talk about withdrawing care. I know that God placed him there for a reason; I know that he was there to help me walk through this journey, to provide me with the support that I needed to be able to speak those words, "We would like to do a compassionate withdraw of care."
My heart was breaking. We had just lost our mom three years earlier. But I knew that the statement this doctor told me was so true: "There are worse things than death." I didn't get it when he told me that just a week earlier, but now, standing over my dad who was on so many meds and tubes and machines, I got it. I knew what he meant. God needed me to walk though the last few weeks to be able to come to terms with the fact that we needed to let him go! He was ready to fly; he was fighting so hard to stay with us, but he was tired and weak!
So, together, we decided to withdraw care. It was terribly hard to say that! We knew in our hearts we needed to do it, but it was so hard to say it-- to make that call! My dad hung on for 9 hours after we took him off the vent. We sat by his bedside and talked to him, held his hand, and cried together!
WCIC has been there for me through so many hard days. Sometimes I struggle with the decision we made. Sometimes Satan gets in my thoughts and makes me think we did the wrong thing. One day, I was heading to his grave site for the first time since his funeral, and I was crying and feeling overwhelmed with emotions when the song "Ready to Fly" came on. It was what I needed to hear at the moment when I was doubting every decision we made. He was 'ready to fly, ready to soar, ready to leave his world behind!' I needed to hear each of those words! It was that push I needed to be able to get though the feelings that I was feeling!
Thank you for always playing just the right songs at just the right time!