Whenever Joe is sick, he doesn’t like to Google his symptoms because he only sees the scary diagnoses and becomes anxious that it could be serious. So I scour the medical sites for him, do the research, then report back the good news that there is nothing major to be worried about. I pretty much have to filter the internet for him, which is a pretty big job, but hey, someone has to do it!
Joe and I also try to add those good news reports in our marriage so we don’t become consumed with negativity. The best way we do that is filtering our mouths in how we speak to each other, which is easier said than done! In Ephesians 4:29, Paul reminds us: Let no unwholesome word proceed out of your mouth, but only that which is good for building up, that it may give grace to the listeners.
Add something good to your marriage!
Think on what is good - Many times we don’t say the good things about our spouse because we haven’t even thought them! We can’t speak good things if we’re only dwelling on what we don’t like. Guard your heart! Like it says in Luke 6:45, what you say flows from what is in your heart.
Take the risk of giving a genuine compliment - Say something when your spouse does something amazing. Not the half-hearted, mumbled “Good job” but the compliment that shows you’re really paying attention. Sometimes I don’t want to give Joe a real compliment because my pride gets in the way. I don’t want to put myself aside and give him extra attention.
Speak highly of your spouse with others - Building up your spouse in private is great, but repeating those same compliments in public is powerful. Joe has been committed to speaking highly of me for our entire marriage- it truly is his superpower- and I can’t emphasize enough the incredible dividends it has paid!!
In our marriages, in our relationships with our kids, or with our friends, we can choose to be that dose of good news. Ask God to give you a heart to see the good in others. Not getting caught up with complaining but noticing when the other person gets it right. The more often we say those things, our hearts begin to shift and the more good we see in each other!
Joe and Tara Buchanan have been married for 23 years and have four children. They have a passion for building strong marriages, and they share more of their story on their blog, Behind Our Smiles.